“Rape culture is something that men should care about not because it might affect them, but because it affects anyone at all. Men should care about women’s safety, full stop, without having the concept somehow relate back to them. Everyone should care about everyone else’s well-being – that’s what good people are supposed to do.”—Tired of Talking To Men | The Belle Jar (via feministlibrarian)
So I drove 11 hours back to Minnesota to surprise my mom for her birth. She sure was surprised. It’s weird being back, and even though I’ve only been moved out for two months, it doesn’t feel quite like home anymore. But it’s nice being back and seeing all my family. I can’t wait to be back and see Diane again though.
“IKEA stores now populate the suburbs of America. They spring up wherever there is enough space to hold their gargantuan facilities. Why are they so popular? Price is one factor, but also there’s something called the IKEA Effect: You value something that you build more than something you buy ready-made.”—
“Mother,” I slowly repeated in Korean. “I am not a boy. I am a girl. I am transgender.” My face reddened, and tears blurred my vision. I braced myself for her rejection and the end to a relationship that had only begun.
Silence again filled the room. I searched my mother’s eyes for any signs of shock, disgust or sadness. But a serene expression lined her face as she sat with ease on the couch. I started to worry that my words had been lost in translation. Then my mother began to speak.
“Mommy knew,” she said calmly through my friend, who looked just as dumbfounded as I was by her response. “I was waiting for you to tell me.”
“Birth dream,” my mother replied. In Korea some pregnant women still believe that dreams offer a hint about the gender of their unborn child. “I had dreams for each of your siblings, but I had no dream for you. Your gender was always a mystery to me.”
I wanted to reply but didn’t know where to begin. My mother instead continued to speak for both of us. “Hyun-gi,” she said, stroking my head. “You are beautiful and precious. I thought I gave birth to a son, but it is OK. I have a daughter instead.”